The Pollenpocalypse

A bee pollinating a flower. - Photo by Kathryn Jacobson

I’ve just filled my 15th Kleenex of the day. My eyes are burning again, and it’s only been four hours since I last took a Zyrtec. The nasal spray has run out. It’s spring and summer in the Shenandoah Valley, a season lovingly known as The Pollenpocalypse.

Butterfly hovers over a flower
Photo by Kathy Creighton

The Beauty and the Trap

Like the poppy fields in Oz, the beauty of blooming things lures the naive, curling its tendrils into noses and eyes.

“If you didn’t have allergies before you moved here, you’ll have them now,” they told me.

I didn’t, and I sure do.

Green trees looking over a stream holding pollen during Pollenpocalypse.
Photo by Kathryn Jacobson

A Research Rabbit Hole – Defining Pollenpocalypse

Impulsively, I pull out my phone and type “pollenpocalypse” in the search bar. It’s a thing I do. “Hyper-specific research rabbit holes,” my friends call it.

Google summarizes, “The Shenandoah Valley blooms so profusely because of its diverse elevation gradients, abundant seasonal moisture, and protected forest habitats.”

Oh, hmm.

Little white doggy walking near a stream during Pollenpocalypse
Photo by Kathryn Jacobson

“These unique geographical and ecological factors create a biodiversity hotspot supporting over 860 species of wildflowers and thousands of flowering trees and shrubs.”

Shoot, I bet everyone’s allergic to something in there.

The National Park Service goes on to say that the blooming season lasts from March through October, so if you’re not bothered yet, you will be.

No worries there; I’m bothered the whole way through. It’s a long, yellow, hard, brick road.

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The Garden of Eden, With Sneezes

But it is intoxicatingly beautiful. Every mountain flower in every color you can think of, a dozen different kinds of trees in as many square feet. Verdant undergrowth and cool streams.

After taking a walk through the park, I text my husband, “We live in the Garden of Eden.”

Sigh.

Sneeze.

A windshield covered with pollen.
Illustration by Aaron Creighton

Yellow Fog

Pollen lies over everything like a light snow. Your shoes slide over it on the sidewalk, and you track it in on the carpet.

The windshield wipers must be engaged before you can pull out of the driveway. The porch rocker must receive a few whackings with the morning paper before you can sit on it.

It actually hangs in the air some days, a yellow fog. Then the neighbors and even their dogs stay inside.

Little whit, cute doggy with daisies all over him
Photo by Kathryn Jacobson

Battle Prep

Which reminds me: it’s time to walk the dog again.

I don my COVID N95 and put some drops in my eyes. Battle prep, like Dorothy’s apples and the Tin Man’s axe. Probably just as effective.

I lay a towel next to the hallway bath, ready for the dog rinsing when we return. Post-battle clean-up.

Only a bucket of water won’t melt this away.

Sigh.

There’s no place like home.

Sneeze.

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